Soo hard

I’m on my 4th 2ww and it’s the hardest time.

Di satu sisi harus stay positive, but on the other side I know all the risk and it scares me so much (if not too much)

I fully realize that i can’t control the result, bahwa ada kuasa Allah yang tidak bisa kita ukur. Yet, I can’t stop calculate everything and create sooo many “what if” scenario.

Sometimes I’m tired and decide to stop thinking, but the day after I start googling and can’t stop searching.

Just now I cried a bit, it suddenly hit me, kehendak Allah pasti akan terjadi. Ga ngaruh mau dipikir sampe mumet, baca wiki berlembar2, dibahas berbusa2. Kalo jadi ya jadi, kalo engga ya engga. Tugas saya hanya tidak boleh putus berusaha dan berdoa.

Ya Allah, give us strength and patience. Only You know our heart.. 


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